Being a caregiver brings some unique rewards that are hard for others to understand, but what isn’t difficult to comprehend is the toll that caregiving can take on our physical, mental and emotional health.
While taking time to look after yourself may seem like the last thing that your life can accommodate, you must maintain your own health and well being in order to be effective in caring for your loved one. We often use the analogy of the emergency instructions that we are given on an airplane. The flight crew always tells us to put on our own oxygen mask first before helping others. In this context it makes sense, what good will you be to your loved one if you pass out first? The same can be said for our role as caregiver. If we don’t take care of ourselves, if we allow ourselves to become emotionally, mentally or physically burned out then how are we going to be able to effectively care for our loved ones?
Even if we understand the importance of self care, the reality is that incorporating it into our daily lives and routines requires commitment and can be a challenge. We have to work, there is a household to manage and our loved ones seem to be in a constant state of crisis. It is easy to push aside our own needs, but becoming the best version of ourselves means that self care has to extend beyond the routine of “eat, sleep and repeat” that we often fall into.
Putting ourselves first may be counterintuitive, but a certain amount of selfishness is healthy and will allow us to rejuvenate, revitalize and refresh ourselves. When we are healthy and energized, not only do we feel better but we can be more effective advocating for and helping our loved ones. When practicing self care, remember to be kind to yourself, give yourself credit for everything that you do, and step away from the critical voice or guilty feelings that you might have. Remember, you are doing the best that you can.
The Self-Care Wheel is shown below and represents the various aspects of self care. This is a great place to start in your self care assessment and reflect on changes needed to achieve better balance.
The definition of self care is very personal and there is no singular activity or approach that will work for everyone. The most important thing you need to do is to acknowledge how you feel and allow yourself to do what is best for you. While not an exhaustive or all-encompassing list, here are some of the more common self care practices:
- Make your physical health a priority. See your physician and don’t ignore your own medical issues or concerns.
- Ensure you eat regularly, get proper rest and maintain good nutrition.
- Exercise regularly – be it a walk or a spin class, keep yourself moving.
- Make the time to do the things you enjoy and that help you relax.
- Learn and use stress reduction techniques.
- Let yourself do nothing, without feeling guilty.
- Allow yourself the occasional “retail” therapy.
- Maintain work, or take up a volunteer position
- Keep in contact with your friends.
- Listen to guided relaxation recordings or relaxing music
- Don’t overload your daily to-do list. Be realistic about what you can and will get done to reduce your stress.
- Seek and accept support of others – this could be friends, family, a support group or counselling if and when you need it.
- Set goals for yourself!